Entry #2- I Hope This Finds You Well . . .

NOT. Has someone ever hurt you so much that you hope they're not better off without you? Of course, I am being a bit dramatic, and it can be bad to purposefully wish someone the worst. Many religions and philosophies believe in moving on and forgiving others for the wrong they have caused, and they will get what they deserve . . . eventually. However, I believe that doesn't leave room for one to really experience their hurt and take in the reality of it all. 

Growing up, I was told to "get over it" and to "stop being so sad" when someone would hurt me. As a result, I suppressed my emotions so much that new ones felt so confusing and scary. I didn't know how to process my thoughts or emotions, and it's a skill I still struggle with to this day. I also wasn't taught to set up personal boundaries, so many people would push me around and use me for their own benefit. Many have said "Wow Juju. You're so forgiving and understandable, you're an amazing person", and it felt so gratifying to hear that. Unfortunately, those people were the same to manipulate those qualities and use it against me. 

This kind of thinking wasn't just handed over to me for no reason; unfortunately, it's been a common way of thinking for many. People are taught to "forgive and forget" and live life without a care in the world. Easier said than done.  What if we don't forgive or don't forget? Would that make us wrong or bad? No, it doesn't. You have the choice of whether or not to forgive someone. It is not your duty in life to make others feel better about themselves by forgiving so easily. 

In the show, Bojack Horseman, Bojack tries to apologize for getting Herb Kazzaz, an old friend, fired so many years ago. However, Kazzaz doesn't grant Bojack the relief of forgiveness. Instead, he chose to let him suffer with the guilt as Kazzaz dies a few episodes later without forgiving Bojack. Those of you that have watched this show know how horrible of a person Bojack Horseman is, realistically. Some people just need to be held accountable for their actions so they can really learn.

Don't get me wrong, one shouldn't go through life being unforgiving and vengeful. I wouldn't say I belong to a specific religion, but I do believe that the soul is the most valuable quality of a person. Someone who holds onto hate and grudges darkens the soul by the second. On the other hand, those who are able to move on and forgive can live life with love and light. This manner isn't black or white, it's a spectrum of many colors; one just needs to find the happy middle. Be aware of how someone hurt you and why it hurts, and be able to turn this into a benefit for yourself. Over time, I learned that I was allowed to be upset with people and vocalizing my feelings is a step towards a solution. People need to start vocalizing their feelings to make change.

To Be Continued . . .