Blog #6- You've changed.

Did you know that it takes an average of four years for people to drastically change? Think about, are you the same as you were four years ago? I know I'm not. Four years ago, I was a quiet freshman who kept to herself, but I was easily manipulated by the people around me. A phrase I've heard a lot what, "You've changed a lot Juju". I've heard it in many contexts, but I don't let it get to me; yes, I've changed, but it was for the best.

One person who likes to constantly remind me of my change is my grandma. For years, I've had the problem of being the "mini mommy", and people took advantage of that mentality of mine to get the love they craved. I didn't  mind because I wanted to o anything to help anyone in need. One of those people is my grandma. Ever since I was five, I've had to watch her break down, rant about her horrible life, and act as her therapist. Over time, I realized that she's not doing anything to help herself. She has a therapist but doesn't tell the therapist anything but "my kids stress me out". All of her kids have offered to help, but she refuses and pushes them away. During the past thirteen years in her care, she has grown more and more dependent on me. When I was applying for college, she kept asking why I wanted to leave her so badly. Even now, she throws the idea of me dropping out to spend more time with her. It's not healthy.

In a previous blog, I mentioned the importance of boundaries. I learned this myself when I started to distance myself from my grandma. I still live with my grandma, so I need to ask permission to hang out with friends. She usually says no. My grandma has gotten so upset that I've been invited to social events that she started to say "You have time for your silly little friends, but no time for me? Wow", and I would feel guilty and stay home. Not anymore. I would say ok and keep myself in my room. 

You see, I had to change my habits of letting my grandma control and depend on me. If I let her go on, our relationship would be damaging to both of our mental health. It was hard, but I had to remember that I am allowed to change. I am human that cannot remain static. You need to remember that you're allowed to change. You can't go through life worrying about how your change is going to affect those close to you. If they truly care for you, then they should support you. As for everything, there is also a change that cannot be support, but that's a topic for another day. 

To Be Continued. . .